Sometimes sequels surpass the original. Like how The Empire Strikes Back was better than Star Wars. And how the second Bush administration had 100% more terms and wars than the first (not to mention a 100% reduction in Japanese Prime Minister vomiting upons).

Here’s another example:

These are so superior to plain M&Ms that I prefer to think that the peanuts were always intended to be there. Like, M&M were introduced in 1941, and 13 years later the CEO, Eminem Mars, finally got around to buying a bag at the local store, and was all “What the poppycock?!” (that’s how people talked in 1954), and went to the factory and said, “dude, why aren’t you adding the peanuts?”, and the M&M maker guy was all like “oh pishaw, I was totally forgetting that step” and the CEO says, “then what have you been doing with the peanuts we have been sending you over a decade?!”, and to find out what happens next please buy the novel I am writing on this premise, “You Don’t Have To Be Nuts To Work Here … But It Helps!”, to be published by Random House in April of next year.

Anyway, they introduced Peanut M&Ms in 1954 and the old ones got renamed “plain M&Ms”. Like how people used to say you were a beautiful little girl and then your younger sister blossomed and then everyone was all, “yeah but you’re the smart one, kind of”.

Rating: Having previously raved about peanuts alone and peanuts in the company of chocolate and caramel, it will come as no surprise to you that I like the middleground as well: peanuts and chocolate, period. Plus, unlike a candybar, these come in tiny bite-sized units, so you don’t feel obligated to eat them all at once. I mean you do eat them all at once, because you have the self-control of a randy ferret. But you could hypothetically strictly speaking eat only a few at a time in theory. So that’s a plus. 90¢/$1.

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