Translated from Spanish, “Doritos” means “small, masculine versions of Dora the Explorer”, which is why you so often find them in the company of shrill, anthropomorphized maps. This particular bag is of the Nacho Cheese variety:
Growing up, I couldn’t stand the Nacho Cheese Doritos, preferring instead the … uhhh, the regular kind? Is there a “regular” kind of Doritos, or do they all have some hideous flavor or another? I honestly have no idea.
To Teh NetarWeb–let’s go!!!
Okay, so Wikipedia says that “the first flavor of Doritos was Toasted Corn followed by Taco flavor”. The first flavor of a toasted corn chip was “Toasted Corn”. Gotcha. That sounds a lot like beef-flavored beef to me, but I guess why that’s I write a blog about snacks instead of racking in the moolah as a marketer.
Andrew Womack recently railed against Doritos® Late Night® All Nighter Cheeseburger® Flavored Tortilla Chips, but I don’t think even he is aware of the wide range of repulsive flavors in which Doritos is now or was at one time available, including:
- DORITOS® Collisions Cheesy Enchilada Sour Cream
- DORITOS® Pizza-La Curry Monterey
- DORITOS® Kale and Cough Syrup
- DORITOS® Stadium Nacho Inspired by EA Sports Madden NFL 11
- DORITOS® Extreme Kickin’ Chili
- DORITOS® Small Hotdog in Pastry Shell Like You Used to Eat in College
- DORITOS® 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin’ Habanero
- DORITOS® Hunk O’ Asphalt
- DORITOS® I Made Some of These Up I Bet You Can’t Even Tell Which
Rating: Doritos “Toasted Corn” has three ingredients: corn, oil, and salt. Doritos “Nacho Cheese” has, literally, like three times that:
I can’t say it’s an improvement. In fact, I’m pretty sure that 25 of those ingredients don’t even contribute anything. They are like nacho cheese middle management or something. 30¢/$1
Kale and cough syrup. Classic.