132: Kit Kat Extra Crispy

I’ve never understood the appear of Irregularly Sized Food, such as sliders (small burgers) or the Brobdingnagian Gulp (120 oz. of Mr. Pibb). Why can’t people just eat stuff in the size god made it?

This goes for snacks too. For example, the “Fun Size” candy is decidedly not fun. If it’s small enough to insert into your nasal canal, it supplies a quantity of joy insufficient to meet the “fun” bar. That’s science right there, yo.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, you have abominations like this:

This looks like something an thief would use to bludgeon a mark into submission. And I love how they say this has “twice the crisp!” and then immediately qualify with “* as regular Kit Kat”, as if crispocity were an actual unit of measurement and they wanted to be painstakingly accurate in their claims.

But what is most baffling to me is that this product is a complete subversion of the Kit Kat paradigm. In countless advertisements, Kit Kat has showcased the joy people have in breaking the cookie sticks in two. I mean, check out the animation on the Kit Kat homepage, for instance. Even the Kit Kat slogan is “give me a break”, fer crissakes. And then they release a version that could only be broken by through the use of bionics? Does not compute.

Rating: This tastes identical to a regular Kit Kat, as near as I can tell. Which is to say: I don’t understand the need for this new format. It’s the same slightly-oversweet flavor, with none of the potential for sharing. Or maybe that is the selling point, and this is specifically marketed toward jerks who want the ability to shrug and say “no can do, bro” when someone asks for a portion of their snack. They should change the name to reflect this, although I freely admit that “Kit Hog” lacks pizzazz. 45ยข/$1

One Response to “132: Kit Kat Extra Crispy”

  1. [...] here are some other candies I consider to belong to the silver, rather than the golden, age: Twix, Whatchamacallit, Nerds, and the sadly defunct [...]

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